Man Logic!

This morning, I ran out of shower gel. Not a problem as I work in the village shop, however, I arrive to find we've sold out of pretty much everything, apart from Lynx Excite or Happy Shopper Eau De Harpic Toilet Cleaner! I plunge for the Lynx, thinking it will do for now, and might encourage my shower phobic son to get clean without being nagged.

Fast forward to tonight: I take my usual shower and get in bed to read for a bit. Get a text from my boyfriend to say he's on his way home from his darts night and can he pop in to say hello. Turns up in a cab a few minutes later half cut, gives me a quick hug before staggering into the toilet. I go and make a cuppa and return to find him sat on my bed looking thoughtful (and rather pissed!).

BF: Have you met somebody else?
ME: (puzzled) Why on earth would you ask that?
BF: (sighs deeply) Well you smell different. Manly. Like a man should smell, not a woman. And there's Lynx in your bathroom. Which is for men! Who is he? I'm sorry if I've been a rubbish boyfriend. And now I'm drunk and you've got a new man and I'm so sad!
ME: You daft bastard! I've just had a shower using the Lynx, it was all we had at the shop!
BF: (proper lightbulb moment as he realises 2+2 do sometimes equal 4) Right. Yes, that makes sense. I'm so stupid. And drunk. I'm drunk. And tired.

With which he passes out on the bed, fully clothed, and starts snoring without a care in the world! And there he remains, taking up most of my bed!

Bloody men!!!

Poem written for my mum's funeral

The best mum I could've asked for

The best friend there'll ever be

They must have been desperate for angels

To take you this soon from me

The birdsong doesn't seem so loud

The sun doesn't seem so bright

Without you here to guide me along

The world just doesn't seem right

The pain WILL lessen, life WILL go on 

But it'll never be the same

I'll miss you every single day

Until we meet again...

Budget doesn't have to mean bad

If you've read my previous post, you'll know I've gone from having everything, to having nothing. Part of this process was learning to budget, from food shopping to clothes, as I could no longer afford to buy what I wanted. Although I work 3 part time jobs over 7 days a week, after rent and bills, I have approximately £200 a month "disposable" income for food and luxuries.  

I really just want to dispel the myth that eating on a budget equals junk food/ready meals. I hate to hear, "But healthy food is soooo expensive!" Is it? Really?

I rarely feed convenience foods, always do one meal a day from scratch. If my son has a school dinner (2-3 days a week) then maybe we'll have a snacky kind of tea, but it's very rare we have frozen pizza etc. I'm not trying to sound smug here; I have a kid that suffers, behaviour-wise, if he eats too much junk and I don't like dealing with the aftermath!

I've learned to shop at Aldi and Lidl for my main shops, with top ups at the local shop for bread and milk. This week, for example, my shopping bill was £35.76 which will, pretty much, feed me and my 7 year old son, plus the dog, for a week.

I buy lots of eggs, potatoes (jackets, mash, homemade oven chips), pasta, rice, mince (makes cottage pie, spaghetti bolognese etc), a fresh chicken (will do a roast dinner, plus a curry and sandwiches/salad the next day, and a soup or stew later in the week), gammon joint (gammon and chips, soup and salad etc), fresh fruit and veg for snacks and accompaniments to meals, pitta breads, passatta, cheese etc to make homemade pizzas, cereals for breakfasts and suppers, bread, cooked meat, fish and frozen veg as a standby.

This week so far, we have eaten:

Monday

Breakfast: cereal, banana, orange juice.

Lunch: DS took packed lunch of ham sandwiches, yoghurt, apple, raisins, cheese and crackers, orange juice carton. I had egg salad followed by strawberries and yoghurt.

Tea: roast chicken, new potatoes, carrots, broccoli, Yorkshire puddings, gravy.

Tuesday

Breakfast: cereal, banana, orange juice.

Lunch: DS had school dinner. I had jacket potato, cold chicken and homemade coleslaw.

Tea: homemade pizza, made with pitta bread, passatta, ham, chicken and pineapple served with cucumber and carrot batons and a side of coleslaw and a pasta salad. 

Wednesday

Breakfast: scrambled egg on toast, raisins, orange juice.

Lunch: DS had packed lunch of cheese sandwiches, yoghurt, apple, banana, raisins, coleslaw, orange juice carton. I had beans on toast, homemade banana milkshake and a cup of tea.

Tea: homemade chicken curry (leftovers from Monday), boiled rice, toasted pitta breads stuffed with garlic and cheese.

Thursday

Breakfast: cereal, banana, orange juice.

Lunch: DS had packed lunch of tuna and cucumber sandwiches, cheese and biscuits, apple, raisins, yoghurt, orange juice carton. I had jacket potato with tuna and cheese, served with salad.

Tea: slow cooked gammon joint with fried egg, homemade oven chips, carrots and pineapple rings.

Tomorrow

Breakfast: porridge with puréed apple, orange juice.

Lunch: DS is having school dinner. I have planned pitta breads with leftover gammon and pineapple, melted cheese, and a homemade banana milkshake.

Tea: homemade soup with gammon, tomatoes, onions, carrots, served with crusty bread and salad.

Weekends I don't really count as much as I work full time and DS eats at his dads or my dads. I take a packed lunch every day; something like cold pasta salad, or egg salad sandwiches. Saturday, I will have jacket potato or omelette for tea, Sunday we have a roast at my dads house when I finish work.

Dog food wise, I don't feed her rubbish; she has food that costs £35 a sack but it lasts her 3 months so about £3 a week on average. Treats wise she gets our scraps.

I don't routinely buy "treats"; I'm dieting so don't buy crisps, biscuits etc as standard. 2 or 3 times a week, DS is allowed to choose chocolate, sweets or an ice cream from the shop on the way home from school. We always have fruit and yoghurts in the fridge as pudding, plus I make a couple of jellies a week to serve with a block of ice cream.

I don't feel we are missing out food wise. We eat well, plenty of fruit and veg, and no convenience foods. 

Clothes are generally bought from George, Primark or eBay. Furniture is from eBay or gumtree. Just bought an armchair that perfectly matches the settee for £10 off eBay! I have a sewing machine so I alter and make a lot of our clothes as well, meaning this years jeans can be next years shorts! I get a huge sense of achievement knowing I have got a a bargain, or rehomed a preloved item. 

My point is that living on a budget is doable. We eat well, we don't feel deprived, we are healthy and happy! A budget does not have to mean budget ready meals and junk food; you can do it!

Reflection

Six years ago I never imagined my life would be how it is now; I had my own house, a seemingly good relationship, two horses, a good job - hell, could even be called a career - in banking, a gorgeous little baby boy and a decent amount of disposable income. Life was good. Or so I thought...

Surprising how quickly things can change! Within the space of a year, I discovered we had debts I had no idea about, which was the beginning of a downward spiral, culminating in my relationship breakdown, rehoming my horses, the sale of my dream home at a time when the property market was dire, the loss of my wonderful mum to cancer, bankruptcy and subsequent loss of my job, as I could no longer continue my work with my credit record in tatters. I was suddenly unemployed, struggling to find a rental property that would accept benefits and dealing with the overwhelming grief of losing my rock; my mum.

For a couple of months, I wallowed in self pity; what had I done to deserve all this? I wasn't coping with anything, was drinking more wine than was advisable just to numb the pain and make me forget and felt like there was no point trying as life was out to get me. 

I realised I needed to take control of my future. Ok, I couldn't work in finance anymore, couldn't get another mortgage, but I could take steps to start again. I enrolled on a college course to do the A-levels I always wished I'd done, got a little weekend job in a cafe and held my head up high, knowing that claiming benefits was a temporary glitch and I WOULD make something of myself.

4 years on, I'm still renting, but have managed to find a lovely little place in a beautiful village that I never imagined I would be able to live in. My little boy makes me proud every day, and no amount of money would change the kind of parent I am. My career isn't yet back where I would like it to be, but I'm working 3 different jobs and paying my own way. I've learned to cook on a budget, be creative in the holidays, buy second hand and be proud! In less than a year, the bankruptcy will be off my record and I can start thinking about buying a house, getting a career again, and making more of myself. But I'm proud of what I've achieved; it would have been so easy to roll over, accept that life was shit and resign myself to being nothing. I feel these last few years have shaped me as a person and made me appreciate what I have. Life is a learning curve and, as they say, these things are made to try us, and what doesn't kill us makes us stronger!