This morning, I ran out of shower gel. Not a problem as I work in the village shop, however, I arrive to find we've sold out of pretty much everything, apart from Lynx Excite or Happy Shopper Eau De Harpic Toilet Cleaner! I plunge for the Lynx, thinking it will do for now, and might encourage my shower phobic son to get clean without being nagged.
Fast forward to tonight: I take my usual shower and get in bed to read for a bit. Get a text from my boyfriend to say he's on his way home from his darts night and can he pop in to say hello. Turns up in a cab a few minutes later half cut, gives me a quick hug before staggering into the toilet. I go and make a cuppa and return to find him sat on my bed looking thoughtful (and rather pissed!).
BF: Have you met somebody else?
ME: (puzzled) Why on earth would you ask that?
BF: (sighs deeply) Well you smell different. Manly. Like a man should smell, not a woman. And there's Lynx in your bathroom. Which is for men! Who is he? I'm sorry if I've been a rubbish boyfriend. And now I'm drunk and you've got a new man and I'm so sad!
ME: You daft bastard! I've just had a shower using the Lynx, it was all we had at the shop!
BF: (proper lightbulb moment as he realises 2+2 do sometimes equal 4) Right. Yes, that makes sense. I'm so stupid. And drunk. I'm drunk. And tired.
With which he passes out on the bed, fully clothed, and starts snoring without a care in the world! And there he remains, taking up most of my bed!
Bloody men!!!
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