Reflection

Six years ago I never imagined my life would be how it is now; I had my own house, a seemingly good relationship, two horses, a good job - hell, could even be called a career - in banking, a gorgeous little baby boy and a decent amount of disposable income. Life was good. Or so I thought...

Surprising how quickly things can change! Within the space of a year, I discovered we had debts I had no idea about, which was the beginning of a downward spiral, culminating in my relationship breakdown, rehoming my horses, the sale of my dream home at a time when the property market was dire, the loss of my wonderful mum to cancer, bankruptcy and subsequent loss of my job, as I could no longer continue my work with my credit record in tatters. I was suddenly unemployed, struggling to find a rental property that would accept benefits and dealing with the overwhelming grief of losing my rock; my mum.

For a couple of months, I wallowed in self pity; what had I done to deserve all this? I wasn't coping with anything, was drinking more wine than was advisable just to numb the pain and make me forget and felt like there was no point trying as life was out to get me. 

I realised I needed to take control of my future. Ok, I couldn't work in finance anymore, couldn't get another mortgage, but I could take steps to start again. I enrolled on a college course to do the A-levels I always wished I'd done, got a little weekend job in a cafe and held my head up high, knowing that claiming benefits was a temporary glitch and I WOULD make something of myself.

4 years on, I'm still renting, but have managed to find a lovely little place in a beautiful village that I never imagined I would be able to live in. My little boy makes me proud every day, and no amount of money would change the kind of parent I am. My career isn't yet back where I would like it to be, but I'm working 3 different jobs and paying my own way. I've learned to cook on a budget, be creative in the holidays, buy second hand and be proud! In less than a year, the bankruptcy will be off my record and I can start thinking about buying a house, getting a career again, and making more of myself. But I'm proud of what I've achieved; it would have been so easy to roll over, accept that life was shit and resign myself to being nothing. I feel these last few years have shaped me as a person and made me appreciate what I have. Life is a learning curve and, as they say, these things are made to try us, and what doesn't kill us makes us stronger!